Zach | 23 | Chicago
“May your coming year be filled with magic and dreams and good madness. I hope you read some fine books and kiss someone who thinks you’re wonderful, and don’t forget to make some art — write or draw or build or sing or live as only you can. And I hope, somewhere in the next year, you surprise yourself.”
No, you see, I never loved him.
I never loved him. Earl. When I met him, I fucked him, and I married him... because I wanted his money. You understand? I'm telling you this... I've never told anyone, I didn't love him... but now, I know I'm in that will. We made that fucking thing, and all the money I'll get. I don't want it, because I love him so much now. I've fallen in love with him now for real as he's dying. I look at him, and he's about to go, Alan.
He's moments... I took care of him through this.
What now, then?
I don't want him to die. I didn't love him when we met... and I did so many bad things to him that he doesn't know. Things that I want to confess to him... But now I do.
I love him.
“You’ve got to find what you love. And that is as true for your work as it is for your lovers. Your work is going to fill a large part of your life, and the only way to be truly satisfied is to do what you believe is great work. And the only way to do great work is to love what you do. If you haven’t found it yet, keep looking. Don’t settle. As with all matters of the heart, you’ll know when you find it. And, like any great relationship, it just gets better and better as the years roll on. So keep looking until you find it. Don’t settle.”
They are the life boats for the darker times, when the vastness of it all, the incomprehensible nature of life is completely illusive.